possible ways to destroy the sun

so i did some research last night to see what other people are saying about the destruction of the day star. they were talking about black holes and antimatter, changing the gaseous mix and colliding it with another large object. yeah, none of it made much sense to me. it was way over my head. what i did understand, though, was that it would be impossible to douse the sun in water to put out the fire. apparently the water would boil and evaporate before it got inside the sun to do any good. stupid sun.

i also found a facebook group dedicated to the destruction of the sun. they pointed out that the sun is the number one cause of sunburn. and that the sun rising after sunday night is the primary cause of monday. excellent points.

and then there was the page destroythesun.com, where he outlines the reasons we need to band together to figure out how to destroy the sun. the reasons include the fact that the sun is basically a beacon for invading aliens to find us and that without the sun's gravitational pull we'd be free to use the earth to explore the solar system. well, right after we devised a steering mechanism for the planet, of course.

so where does that leave us? i'm thinking we sew it a death shroud. we use blackout drapery lining, and we line it (yeah, we're lining a lining ... but it's the sun, people. it's hot. and the blackout lining is going to melt without some support) with the insulated goodness we recommend for inside ironing board pads and oven mitts. because the sun is hot ... but i'm pretty sure it's a heat comparable to that of an iron. then we send up the indestructible flying sewing machines, and we're done!

or maybe i've been spending too much time around fabric. but think of all the uses of an indestructible flying sewing machine. that would be awesome.
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